I am still sick. This fucking sucks. I called the doctor today, after coughing up blood today in school, and all they could say was " Well unless she's running a fever we dont want to see her" and " Well everyone has this, you just need to get a expecterant and a suppresant, it will go away in two weeks." So uh am I supposed to sit here coughing up blood for two weeks. Stupidity of the human race conquers once again. Well let's see. I feel horrible. Not because I am sick. But because of my friends. Yet again Nessa keeps asking me if I hate her. Does she not realize that I do NOT hate her. Jesus Fucking christ. I am over the fact that she dumped her boyfriend to date a guy she knew for a week. I am over the fact that she slept with the guy after dating him 3 weeks. I just want everything to be back to normal and it wont. Even though she said nothing would change. Jesus. I miss her. I miss Brian to. I was talking to him tonight. And I realized I haven't seen him since we went and saw House of a 1000 Corpses. That was fucking forever ago. I feel so badly. I kept promising him that I would go see him this summer. And I didn't. I feel so bad. I also feel bad for the way I have been treating Andrew lately. I personally think I have taken my picking with him way to far. I feel bad for puting him down. I am so glad he is so understanding. I love him so much. I can't wait. I am hoping that he will come see me for Thanksgiving.
Well in other news, I am sure to fail school this year. Why do you ask. Because in the first 2 weeks of school I have been out almost a full week. My Ap Class is going to kill me. Oh well. Ya know what I dont care anymore. Actually I do. Why Do I care. I do not know. I need comforting. I need to go out with friends. I need to be held and kissed. I need a life. My life is good yet fairly crappy. My head hurts. I need to get out of this house. I am going crazy. Please rescue me? Well my mom is Due October 3rd. But I think she will have the baby before then. Now I feel real bad. Because of me being sick. I might have just ruined all of Erins plans for this weekend. Man. I feel bad. In even better news My ex Dave instant messaged me today. He says he hates me yet he randomly Instant messages me, todays convo went as fallows:
Dave:How are you?
Dave: let me guess being slutty.
Me: Uhhh. No.....
Me: I am still dating the same guy
Me: you?
Dave:Im dating now
Dave: But not like you you whore
Dave: stupid whore bag
Dave: cheating cunt fuck
Dave: Have fun getting AIDS you trailor trash whore.

Fun huh. See for those who dont know. I was dating him and he dumped me and like a month later I started dating Andrew. And Dave Instant messaged me one day and told me that he still liked me and now he hates me. Here look at the last one he messaged me.

dave: well well long time no talk to i see
BlacknedSoulkepr: yeah
dave: i still think your a whore for what ya did
BlacknedSoulkepr: im sorry you think that. are you and amanda happpy
dave: what are you talking about
dave: me and Amanda are no moe
BlacknedSoulkepr: oh i thought she turned bi to date you
dave: because she fuck with my feelings all because of you and tryed to sleep with me
BlacknedSoulkepr: ah. yeah the last thng i was told by her was i am going to turn bi and show him a real woman i hope you get aids and die
dave: lol that's Amanda for you always watching out for me
BlacknedSoulkepr: yeah 2 bad that made me horribly sad
dave: ok
BlacknedSoulkepr: so how are you
dave: great
BlacknedSoulkepr: that is good to hear
dave: yeah
BlacknedSoulkepr: are you and amanda still friends.
dave: got a job getting my lic getting my car so everthing is going great
BlacknedSoulkepr: thats good. but i thought u couldnt get a job?
dave: well i work at an animal sheltter
BlacknedSoulkepr: ooooooo fun!
BlacknedSoulkepr: do you like it
dave: yeah
dave: working with animals not working ith people is the way i like it
BlacknedSoulkepr: thats good im glad you do something you like. you deserve it
dave: naw i desever to die as along witht eh rest of this world
BlacknedSoulkepr: you shouldnt say that.
dave: i jsut did
BlacknedSoulkepr: i know. but you shouldnt.
dave: you suck everthing out of me again
BlacknedSoulkepr: i am sorry i dont mean to
BlacknedSoulkepr: how did i this time
dave: well sorry doesn't mean nothing to me
dave: to bad your missing out
BlacknedSoulkepr: look i know i hurt you and im sorry about it. but i do want to be your friend. missing out>
BlacknedSoulkepr: ?
Dave: we can never be friends it is hard when u have feelings still
BlacknedSoulkepr: that hurts to hear that
Dave: take that hurt times it by 50 and you know half of what i feel
BlacknedSoulkepr: if you hate me so and dont want to be my friend why do you talk to me>?
Dave: because i still have very very strong feeling for you but it just leaves me empty
Dave: may you never know my true feelings and passion i held for you
BlacknedSoulkepr: im sorry i mean if i hurt you why talk to me. wouldnt it be best to forget me if you hate me.?
Dave: see one thing it didn't take you long to find a man that makes you a damn whore
BlacknedSoulkepr: please dont call me that. we were broken up a month an yes i understand thats still soon. but a guy i liked and have known forever asked me out. hes like my amanda.
Dave: may your pusasy fall off and you die of back up you stupid fucking fat ass cum bucket nigger love cunt bag whor slut tramp worthless cunt.

Awww the love can you feel it. Well I am going to bed. Nite all.

mood: high

music: Pizza Day- Aquabats